my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
