You're completely useless in the revolution.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
When my girlfriend drinks sangria it's like winning the vagina lottery
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
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