he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
