am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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