I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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