he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
