Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
