Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
