My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
