The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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