covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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