Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
