Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
