Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
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