Do you still have your period?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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