Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
