I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
