absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
