I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
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