I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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