i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Randomize
