I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Randomize
