i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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