just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
