She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
