You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
Randomize
