youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
