I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
She needs sedatives and a leash
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
