Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
