we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
