I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Randomize
