so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
