this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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