I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
