dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
