I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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