There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
