let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
