this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize
