This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
