Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
