if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
