Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
