I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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