dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
