i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
