you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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