3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
