think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
