3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
can u get pink eye on your cock?
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
