when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
