oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Randomize
